Sunday, October 10, 2004

Could my vote (literally, personally) decide the next President?

As we know from the last election, not all votes are created equally (votes from “swing states" are obviously more valuable—that’s why Alaska [Republican] & Hawaii [Democrat] never get presidential candidate visits), and because of peculiarities of our electoral college system and the predilections of the “red” v. the “blue” states, it’s possible, as occurred last election, for a small minority of folks to hold the key to the President’s election. For instance, last election, the black gay Republicans in Florida were responsible for putting Bush into office.

So as it turns out, PA could be one of those states this election and the Philadelphia suburbs (where I live) could be the key. I am a political independent, and unlike all of those partisans with their minds already made up (such as my father who, the only time he has ever voted Republican was when he was younger and living in Maryland, against a conservative Dixiecrat), I am one of those “swing voters” from a “swing state”—a state that could be the next Florida. Man my vote must be worth $. To bad it’s illegal to sell it.

So as the key, I am announcing to the Bush and Kerry forces that I don’t plan on voting for either one of you. I can’t stand your statist politics. Until one of you convinces me that you will leave the office with the federal government smaller than it was when you first took office, you won’t get my vote. Of course I’d be willing to hear you—the Bush and Kerry campaigns—out and allow each of you to make your case, provided that it be over dinner at LeBec Fin on Walnut Street in Philadelphia and that you foot the entire bill. And should we go out, expect me to try their most exotic wines. (Remember Chevy Chase's line in Fletch regarding the Champaign on the Underhill's account? Oh at that price, I'll only have two bottles then).



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