Alan Keyes is runing for President and Ed Brayton promises to provide the commentary:
I hereby pledge to report every stupid, counter-factual or crazy thing Keyes says during the campaign until he inevitably withdraws due to lack of funds and single-digit polling numbers. Keyes is like the Jerry Quarry of electoral politics (is there anyone here who gets that reference?); his job is to look like a credible opponent prior to getting beaten like an ugly stepchild. If I should die before completing that duty, I ask that Jon Rowe continue my important work.
In the event of Brayton's passing, I will carry on the torch!